Well…that didn’t go as planned!

You’ll remember that this past year’s adventure was 4 years in the making…. That it took a lot of prepping and planning… Building and creating…

We had hopes and dreams… Plans and schedules… Places to discover and explore…

And yet…here we are…

After a series of expensive van repairs, we made the tough decision to head home. It felt a bit abrupt, to abort our travel plans and head for home 2 months early, but at the same time, it felt like the right decision. If we were to continue with our original plans, we would still have had about 5000+ kms to go…and all things considered, didn’t have confidence in our vehicle to take us all that way…or at least safely and without any additional big repairs!

So, we finished up our year with a magical Christmas celebration in the Yukon and a heart-warming visit with friends in northern Alberta.

Our journey home took us East across the prairies, wild and windy with immeasurable skies, then down and around the North Shore following frozen lakes and jagged rock cuts…our country is SO diverse…and oh, so beautiful!!

I’d be lying if I told you I’m happy to be home. I mean…it’s been SO good to see our kids and to have face-to-face visits with dear friends BUT! We had planned for many more grand adventures over the next two months; hikes, scenic drives, mountain peaks, national parks, and restful evenings in the van playing cards while munching on popcorn (yes! I learned how to make delicious stovetop popcorn in the van!).

When we made the unexpected decision to return home, to bring an end to our nomadic way of life. #vanlife LOL…I was reminded of some of the same feelings I had 15+ years ago, when I felt my life was headed in a particular direction and then…suddenly…it took a much different course.

RA disrupted everything…I mean everything…

I was an active young woman, had young children to care for, a physically demanding career…I had hopes and dreams, plans and goals…and when I wasn’t able to do what I needed to do, things that had previously defined me, things that I believed would keep me headed in a direction I wanted to go…I couldn’t imagine a future that looked like anything what I had hoped for…maybe you can relate?

My mind went back to a time this past summer, while we were hiking the Great Divide Trail. The trail followed the Howse River, back and forth across its floodplain. The Howse River Flood Plain is bordered by the majestic peaks and severe rock faces of the Rocky Mountains, a truly beautiful place…and the incredible thing was, as we moved through this area, crossing the river nearly ten times as it snaked its way through the low plains, our view continually changed. Rounding each bend, sightlines ever shifting, perspectives as fluid as the cold waters we crossed, revealed to us what was first hidden by an outcropping or peak, now for us to see in plain sight! (pun intended ;)…over and over…beautiful landscapes came into view, a kaleidoscope of vistas if you would. We were given a new frame to look through, a fresh way of seeing our surroundings…if only we took the time to look up and take it all in…

As I navigated the first year after my symptoms appeared, I had to intentionally take stock of where I was, search for something beautiful, gain a new perspective (with the help of others of course) and see the beauty around me. It took great intention, and purposeful movement through difficult emotions, not remaining in the same mindset I was in, but looking for new outlooks, new perspectives…and you know what…I found them…and I was able to see new and beautiful things…

We’ve been home about a week now…so…here I sit at my kitchen table. My view is much different than the last time I sat down to write. Outside my window snow-laden trees sparkle in the sun and there’s blue sky peeking through the clouds. I’m checking the time to be sure I get to my friend’s house on time for our visit and I can see my gear ready to go for this afternoon’s ski date with my son. I think about the warm water that comes effortlessly out of the taps. LOL…and the nice, hot shower I enjoyed last night (let me tell you…there’s nothing like hot water…and one’s own shower!! especially after months of recreation centers, campgrounds or going without LOL). The van is parked in the driveway…plastered with stickers from places we visited and bursting with enough memories to fill multiple lifetimes.

I’m bringing forward into today, what I’ve learned from yester-years…years when I struggled to see how my life could be anything like I had hoped for. I’m using those “muscles” I built during those difficult times, to reframe, see my current situation in a new way, from a different angle and to move forward, looking for and focusing on the things I can celebrate, the beauty I believe is all around me…if I but only take the time to stop and take stock of it.